Question, silence, follow-up and vulnerability—the practical grammar of a long conversation.
AT A GLANCE
01Ask for experience, not only information02Stay for one second after an answer03Do not disguise assumptions as questions
“The aim is not to memorise an answer, but to learn how to see the question more clearly.”
Ask for experience, not only information
After “What happened?”, ask “What did you understand in that moment?” The second question brings the person inside the event into view.
Stay for one second after an answer
Rushing to the next question preserves rehearsed responses. A short silence allows someone to hear—and sometimes extend—their own answer.
Do not disguise assumptions as questions
Use an open follow-up instead of placing an emotion in the guest’s mouth. It leaves room for disagreement and surprise.
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More doors into this question
Books, essays and conversations that can carry the question further.
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